Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
