do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
