Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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