I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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