i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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