I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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