I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
