Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
