Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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