Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Non-Jews are for practice
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
