I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
