My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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