This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You're a waste of cheezeits
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
