do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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