Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
