So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
