ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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