But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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