VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
