Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
