im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my being single is dangerous.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
