4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
pray to the hookup gods
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
