Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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