I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
