I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
