He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
