girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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