dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize