At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
