Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
