He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
