Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
