I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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