"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
