A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
