I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
