dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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