At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize