I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
