Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
