Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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