so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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