in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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