im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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