it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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