first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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