The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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