Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
