Say something about gay babies.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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