Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
