Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
