Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
