Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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