I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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