Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
