Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
