ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize