I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Text me some of your sweat
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