no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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