dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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