so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
