Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
from now on my penis is your penis
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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