tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
either way he was missing a nipple.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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