You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
