I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
